First of all, the question of "am I good enough?" I have an idea of people who are going to at least get interviews for the MidTerm. I think two of the three have 4.0's. I do not. It won't even be possible to graduate with a 4.0. I'm going to strive for a 3.9, but that might even be hard. I do have a job, which I don't think they do. I do participate in a lot of extracurricular (and even without school, there's a lot of them) activities, but is that enough? I shouldn't compare myself with people. I've done my hardest. I've worked my hardest. I've done everything I could. Dave said a GPA "is just one or many attempts to capture some aspect of yourself." He's right. I'm defined by so much more than a number. I suppose that's what a resume is for. And recommendations.
Dr. Tessman asked me when I went to pick up my recommendation from him how I thought it went - the writing and all that. I fidgeted nervously. I think I did alright. But I wish I could've put an experience from Japan in there. Or mentioned my summer trip at all. I didn't do that...I will in the Pickering, but the essay is different and supports that kind of style. It's on my resume...but people applying for it went all over the world.
What makes me so special?
Also, I'm debating whether or not to get a 2nd job. I sure could use the money, picking up random shifts here and there, or on weekends. But, I have Promote Africa, Invisible Children, Habitat, and Roosevelt. I would like to be on the board for Habitat and Roosevelt next semester. So that means hard work in those. I am working 20 hours a week already at 2 jobs on campus. Doing errands and meetings and such. I am trying to audit the Chinese class. I need to continue to edit my Roosevelt paper to have it publish-worthy. I would like to help Dr. Tessman with his research. I mean, is a second job all that necessary? Well, I sure could use the money. But isn't that too much. I'll have to talk to people about that.
Maybe it's friends that worry me. I think I want to be friends with certain people: as in hang out with them, be "one of them." Ouch. How very pathetic of me. Wanting to "follow the crowd" or be with the "in-group." Shouldn't I just be friends with people I want to be friends with? Shouldn't it not matter? I guess there is just some basic part of me that still feels that need and is envious of others. I don't act on it, so I suppose I don't want it that much. My subconscious is much cooler than my conscious.
Oh! I worked on my website over the break for the Midterm Application. It's really cool. Well, I like it. Dave helped me a lot too. I have two more pages to complete and that's about it! I still have to figure how I want them set up and what I should have on there. I feel like I need a "hobbies" page or a "pictures" page. Maybe both? That'd be nice to have pictures of high-school activities and things I like doing now. Hmmm...
Also,
Let's look back on scholarships:
Incentive : due 30 Jan.
CET Academics (2 different ones) : due after I get accepted
Pickering Fellowship : due 6 Feb.
Petters : due 10 Feb.
I am kind of glad that some of them I can't do because of requirements (must be a UGA study abroad program, or used between these times...) because that way I don't have to continually ask the same people for a recommendation. I wouldn't feel so bad if I still had the two teachers I would've had for recs stay on campus! But, oh well.
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