How many blogs have I started now? Maybe we all have to go through a process of blogs, like growing up. We shift, we change. Maybe it's tastes. Maybe it's people. But we do it anyway. I had myspace (though I always hated it), then xanga. All my high-school friends were there. We posted like mad; it's still funny to read some of it sometimes. Then, as my boyfriend went to college, I became obsessed with LiveJournal. It was one of our connections, so again, I wrote like crazy about everything.
But I couldn't ever explain much of what I wrote.
See, people read it. And people talked. I didn't want them talking about me. Even with the privacy settings, I still felt insecure, vulnerable.
I have a Zaadz, but while that was nice, it was a little cluttered, a little too much like facebook though I blogged on it. While I check up on all of these things peridocially, they are not for blogging. Still, people can see them, and I want my emotions away from prying eyes. Even a diary kept safe is forgotten, out of fear, or for the lack of time. I keep them. But perhaps this will be different.
I won't share this with anyone I know in real life. It will be mine. A private roller-coaster. I will feel the wind in my hair and the sand between my toes. The ocean will be mine and the stars will sing to me.
Maybe I'll share it down the road, but blogs can be diaries, and who shares their diary? Maybe I will become world famous, but would they still see this? Who knows. Who knows.
I'll probably get creative. That's always fun.
If I can find the time.
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