Dave and I were chatting over Skype today (not speaking, but using their IM feature), and he said something.
"I wish I had asked you to come to France with me."
I was shocked. It is a big step, but that's not what shocked me the most. But this trip was suppossed to be about him. About him finding himself, finding what he wants and needs in life. It was about him immersing himself in another culture and seeing how he fares for himself. I told him that me being there was a big "no-no" for him, and that was why we weren't even seeing eachother in Japan.
"In retrospect, it would've worked out better."
He wants me there with him. And I want to be there with him. Badly. I can't imagine how happy I would've been to travel with him. To see France with him. But no...no, he went off and I went to California away from him. Why did he tell me that? It just makes things worse because of how badly I want to be with him. Why didn't he figure this out before he left? I could have worked on my French, and if I could've afforded it, I would've been there in a heartbeat.
How much better would I feel right now if I were with him?
Instead, I'm stuck here with a headache, doing absolutly nothing when I should be working on a website or studying japanese, walking on eggshells around my father. And he's over in France, experiencing wonderful new things and -right now- sick.
For some reason he won't even really talk to me. Maybe we just haven't had time. He hasn't told me any stories about the people there or things he's done. And I've chatted with him twice in the past four days. I barely heard his voice when we did get Skype to work properly.
How much different, how much better, would things be if I were with him now in France?
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